Friday, December 25, 2009

christmas eve.......

ahh,so its christmas eve...and i don't have anything to be so merry about right now.

well,first things first.i just survived more than a week of pure hell!make no mistake-sitting for an prof exam is never easy,but 2nd prof is way ahead than 1st prof when it comes to nastiness.true,1st prof has the surprise element but all things
considered,2nd prof is decidedly the more evil cousin.

the routine itself was pretty bland-get up at 6.freshen up and start mugging till 7:30.gobble down some light refreshment and run back to your books.cram away to oblivion by 10 o clock.get ready,and have lunch by 11am,so you can rush to the exam
centre by 11.20.cram some more till a quarter to twelve before entering the arena.
after two hours during which the desire to survive brought out till then undiscovered talents for cheating and writing productive bullshit,we head back to our lairs to choke the post exam euphoria/panic as swiftly as humanly 5 o clock we were wide awake after a fitful and mostly sleepless sleep,to find ourselves face to face with the impossibly high mountain of workload,of syllabus comprising a whole year of study.start by 5.30 and on and on till its time for dinner at 9.30pm.after yet another hurried dinner,back to books.most of the time,we didnt even wait for the clock to strike ten before starting the torture!why?because even the desire to lie down was pretty scary-what if you coudnt get up from your "little" nap?where would you be then??so, no rest.
trudging on,we came to the magical 12 o clock mark.not the time to go to bed,but signalling that in exactly one hour,it would be time to start cajoling each other to try and sleep a few hours,while all the time dreading lying down ourselves.why?simply because though our aching bodies welcomed the rest,our minds were too choked to allow the waves of sleep to crash against our mind's shores.thus,sleep would not come.and we would each lie awake for sometimes over an hour or so.sad and often dangerous thoughts crossed our mind,and we drifted into an uneasy sleep mainly born out of sheer exhaustion,a sleep which was broken by the shrill alarms of our cell phones at 5.45 seemed that it was only a few minutes ago that we had closed our books and
here we were having to start all over again!
all in all,it was extremely depressing and a very very tiring ordeal.i hope it is a long time before i have to face such a nightmare again.theory papers ended monday,21st of december.

Friday, November 27, 2009

a comment copied....

many a time,words just seem like obstacles in the path of expressing ourselves honestly-however much we exhort,plead or chastise,we feel inadequate to express our emotions or convey our feelings by merely speaking.we have all faced such situations at one time or the other.
in these scenarios, a look,a sigh, a subtle gesture or even a simple word spoken in a special manner accomplishes so much more than words can ever hope to accomplish by themselves.
by the same logic,it is also very reasonable to suppose that a person may be crying,or shouting or just loving us madly without uttering a single word.he/she may be conveying the most complex of emotions just by the way he/she,say, fills our glass with water or looks into our eyes when we make a comment.these subtle and yet not so subtle gestures are not a byproduct of evolution,for you can quite easily observe these forces at work if you take some time to look at the world around you.
for example,a cub comes down to sit beside its mother on the savannah grass.the mother instantly licks away the flies that have been bothering the cub.that is all.but it speaks volumes about the mother's love for her child.
another example.a guy new, to the locality,comes to a coffee shop everyday.each day he sights an old man enjoying his morning cuppa with the newspaper open to the sports pages.when one day he asks around,he comes to learn that in his youth,the old timer was an athlete and quite popular in the neighbourhood.however,age had dealt him a dastardly blow.severe arthritis had forced him to give up sports and work as a clerk in the local grocery store.from that day on,the guy,himself a big sports buff,made it a point to sit and chat with the old man,even if only for a few minutes each day.there is nothing in this story that will change the order of the universe,but somehow the guy's gesture appeals to our finer instincts.
by the same token,when a man,while returning home from work in the evening, was haggling on the sidewalk with a woman over the price of some bangles,a little girl came and asked the street vendor woman-ma,aj kitna jodi bika?to which the woman replied-do.suddenly,the man stopped haggling to save the five rupees.he paid and left quickly.not uncommon but again not many words were wasted.

similarly,when someone is just there for you,doesn't matter if the person is not mouthing one endearment after another,but just standing there like a goldfish with the mouth open,looking stupid,perhaps you will never find someone who will love you more than that apparent geek!
for, though we keep searching and seeking,the things below our feet are the things we never really see.
so,if a quiet someone doesn't always commend you face to face(or with words)on your infectious entusiasm for life,doesn't complement you on your boundless energy each time he/she speaks to you,maybe it is because he is speaking in a language that is much more subtle than mere words....and maybe it was time you listened to your heart a little more and let the auditory canal take a backseat!

while you watch the sunset wishing there was someone you could watch the it with,maybe he watches the sun set every evening thinking only of you.and in the meanwhile, the sun watches both of you, and smiling,perhaps sighs ever so softly...